كان مسيلمة الكذاب حين ادعى النبوة حالة من النحس الكوميدي المستمر، وبغض النظر عن التخاريف التي كان يدعي أنها وحي من نوعية (الفيل ما الفيل وما ادراك ما الفيل له زلوم طويل)، فقد كان نحسا ودنسا يمشي على قدمين، ففي كتاب البداية والنهاية لابن كثير تقرأ انه دعى لرجل اصابه وجع في عينه، فعمي وفقد بصره. وسقى بوضوءه نخلة فيبست، وجيىء له بطفلين ليباركهما، فمسح على رؤوسهمو فقرع رأس احدهم وزال شعره ولثغ لسان الآخر.
يمكنك دون أن تجهد نفسك بالعودة إلى كتاب البداية والنهاية لابن كثير أن ترصد صورة للنحس المثالي يتوارى نحس مسيلمة خجلا إلى جوارها.
فقط عليك أن تطالع الصحف وقت زيارات شاويش الانقلاب الخارجية، فعندما ذهب ليقدم العزاء في ملك السعودية السابق عبد الله انقطع التيار الكهربائي عندما حط بقدميه في قاعة العزاء وهو حدث غير مسبوق.
تراه يجر ذيلا خفيا من النحس والمصائب أينما حل، ففي أول زيارة له لروسيا عندما اهداه بوتين جاكت أحد حراسه، سقط قمر صناعي روسي من مداره وخرجت 38 عربة قطار فحم عن مسارها وتعطلت حركة القطارات عدة ساعات، وخسر فريق هوكي الجليد الروسي أمام فنلندا وطلق بوتين زوجته بعد زواج دام 30 عاماً بل وخسر بوتين حليفه في اوكرانيا بعد أن قامت ضده الثورة.
وعند زيارته للسعودية غرقت سفينة شحن عملاقة كانت تحمل على متنها 1400 سيارة سعودية فارهة وبلغت الخسائر 700 مليون ريال سعودي.
زار الإمارات فاندلعت الحرائق في احدى البنايات في الشارقة والتهمت 14 سيارة.
واثناء زيارته الأخيرة لروسيا اندلعت عدة حرائق في غابات روسيا واندفعت الطائرات الروسية لاطفاءها ولالقاء المواد المانعة للحريق لمنع امتداد الحرائق لمناطق أخرى.
عندما حط بقدميه في روما، اعلنت ايطاليا أول حالة إصابة بالإيبولا.
ما ذكرته هو مجرد أمثلة موثقة إخباريًا.
اما اكبر انجازات الشاويش في هذا المجال، فكان في اليوم التالي لاقتتاح ترعة أم أنور، حين غرقت الكراكة بركات، وبعدها بأيام اندلع حريق هائل في احدى سفن البضائع في ميناء بورتوفيق بالسويس.
وسط حالة السعار الإعلامي التي أُريد لها أن تكون تتويجا لمرحلة جديدة من الكفتة يتم فيها الاحتفاء بحفر 35 كيلومتراً لا تفيد في شيىء وتصويرها للغلابة والبسطاء على أنها فتح جديد في عالم التجارة وهدية ماسر (كما ينطقها) للعالم والمشروع الذي سيدر 100 مليار دولار سنويا، والتغطية على جريمة النصب التي ارتكبتها عصابة الانقلاب حين طالبت بالتبرع لما سمي (شهادات استثمار قناة السويس) حتى جمعوا من الشركات والأفراد 60 ملياراً من الجنيهات، تم التكتم على خبر خط السكك الحديدية الرابط بين الصين واسبانيا والذي يخصم من أهمية قناة السويس اصلاً، فضلا عن مشروع الترعة البالغ طولها 35 كيلومتراً.
ومع كل هذه الوقائع، تجد المواطن المؤيد للانقلاب يتعامل مع الأمر بشيىء من السذاجة التي تذكرك بشخصية (مبروك أبو مبروك) في فيلم العتبة الخضرا والتي اداها اسماعيل يسين، ففي المشهد الأخير من الفيلم يبدي أحمد مظهر اثناء القبض عليه استعداده ليبيع لمبروك القطار بعدما باع له العتبة الخضرا، فتتهلل أسارير مبروك ويثني عليه.
الخبر الذي نشرته جميع الصحف بالأمس عن الطريق البحري الجديد الذي يربط أسيا باوربا عن طريق القطب الشمالي، والذي سينهي أهمية قناة السويس حيث تقطع السفن الرحلة خلال 33 يوماً بينما تحتاج إلى 48 يوما لعبور قناة السويس، يعني أن ذلك النحس فوق العادة قد طال حتى قناة السويس منذ أن مر بجانبها.
فقناة السويس، والتي تعتبر جسما شق بدن الوطن إلى جزئين، ستفقد حتى أهميتها التجارية بفضل زيارة شاويش الانقلاب والخراب المستعجل الذي يحمله.
ولن اندهش كثيرا ان دعت عصابة الانقلاب (الماسريين) للتبرع لحفر قناة جديدة على الناشف في القطب الشمالي عن طريق شهادات استثمار القطب الشمالي، كما لن اندهش أبداً إن استجاب البعض لهذه الكوميديا.
المصدر : عربي 21
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